As a child learns to walk there is no get up on both feet and start walking. The child goes through a process of waking up the body and connecting to the brain for more than just survival. The child gets up, falls down, repeats that getting up and falling down. In yoga class I encourage my students to find the fall and in that fall find the grace. Once grown up happens and we are adults it changes. When we fall we fail that’s what we are told. We have to reprogram the brain of those projections others give us to believe. It is in that dark of uncomfortable space we start seeing the light. The inspiration within to try again. Sometimes that mean again and again. In the Yoga class room that is exactly what it means. My students hear me say Again Again…… Like any beautiful dancer with blisters on their feet and bruises on their toes. The falls are what made that dance beautiful. Not nailing the steps to the dance the first time. A repeated process of not giving up will rewire your nervous system to have less emotional impact and less judgment. More and more one realizes the fall or the failure is the best teacher and the WILL to get yourself up and walk again is the SUCCESS. That’s the exciting part I dont want anyone to miss out on.
I admit in the 11 years I have been open I have made many mistakes. Or should I say choices that did not suit us but I am NOT willing to give up. I am willing to do better and willing to say ‘Sorry’ none of that was my intention it was all I knew at that time. I know better NOW! I have fallen and I have failed. I have picked my self up and am willing to try again and again. I dont ask anything of my students that I am not willing to do also. Life gives us this blessing of grace. Can the pride or ego surrender? Yes, it can. What were my mistakes I really dont remember but they happened. One day I asked myself what is it that I want from this yoga method? What is it that I really want from my students? I went into the dept of my own pain and realized I want nothing but what I need is LOVE. In that self realization I realized I want everyone to feel and have LOVE. The true healer. Is that not what all of us need? Yes, am I willing to give it? YES, did I have self LOVE to give years ago? NO. When my business started to fall I was allowing it because my own soul was falling into the dept of darkness and it was the light of the Yoga the people who brought me back. I am stronger I am healthier and I have self LOVE. These are the things I didn’t have so many years ago. I had the dream of it and that dream played out. I am ready more ready than I have ever been.
When I was a teenager in the 80’s I loved rock music. My Mom would scream ‘turn that satanic music off’. ha-ha God Rest her Soul! I never picked that message up from my music but I wasn’t listening for that. I love all music types, classical, country, pop, techno, etc. For me music raises my energy level or maybe you know it as it raising your vibration through sound. What I heard was “what comes around goes around” Ratt. Cause and effect, Karma, is my example of the message from that song just played out with heavy metal electric guitars. Like a raper rapping about street violence. Are they encouraging it? NO they are expressing experience, thoughts, feelings into a song to heal the souls of themselves and others. We do this in meditation, Yoga in the Yoga class room is Expression of our life, Expression of Present and Expression of our Future In the right NOW.
Have I changed? Yes and No a lot of me is still the same. I will always love the color blue and my favorite sport is baseball. I love bananas and I seek out comfort. I took baby steps with my Yoga practice and still do to this day. What I wanted to change I have. What I am unable to change I have accepted. What change is coming I open my heart and arms to. A great teacher just told me ‘To become self-realized is more important than writing a book’ She might have know in this group she was talking to me or not but I took that she was speaking to me, it fit me like a glove. I am putting the book on hold and realizing my own self first. I can only do this by not giving into my falls or failure. I am getting back up and I am starting over. Hello my name is Angela I was raised down by Oklahoma boarder, southeast Kansas on a small farm that was my life school. I dont know much about city living or owning a Yoga School but I am willing to learn. That is exactly the way I introduced myself to Kansas City when I moved here a decade ago. With my yoga business now at the age of 11 I decided I am taking one of the 1’s away and I am now 1!! I am walking strongly now in my awakening and I ask you will you start again with me? HELLO My name is Angela I am your Yoga teacher!
Peace and Love, Happy Anniversary Kansas City Bikram Yoga!